Sister Maria Socorro of the Holy Spirit

I first met the Sisters when I was very, very young. I had just moved to a new area of Nicaragua, in the city of Managua about 1975 or so. The Sisters were living in a poor little room close to a parish; they hadn't built the convent yet. 

I wasn't 15 years old yet, because I remember when that day came. My mother was involved in a study group at the church. She said, “it's your birthday, you need to come with me”. Not interested in going, but because it was my birthday and I didn’t want my mother to be begging and begging and begging, I relented. 

Not knowing much about the Bible, I told my mother that I needed some help with school homework even though she didn’t get an education past the third grade. The homework was something related to Religion in the Scripture. You see, there was a student in my class that I was competing with. This fellow Christian always got the right answers and always talked about God. I was in high school, 10th or 11th grade.  “Why don't you go to the Sisters, they will help you better than I,” she urged.

So I went to Sister Xavier without an intention at that point to be a Sister, only out of competition! She was so beautiful, so motherly. There began an attraction of the faith as I kept asking her different things. She replied with such a devotion, a love for God, that I lost sense of my assignment just to listen to her. I ended up getting a good grade on the assignment! I was very happy to beat the friend that knew everything about the Bible with higher marks. I never forgot the Sisters’ devoted joy talking about the Bible or Our Lord so I was drawn and wanted to hear more. My mother, who was very involved in the church, gave me opportunities to visit the makeshift convent there with ice cream in tow. I was invited to accompany the Sisters on errands to pay bills as they did not know the city. Many questions were asked and answered in simple but virtuous ways. It was exciting for a child my age. So I got really close to them all through high school, and they got close to me in a fruitful relationship.

I had just finished high school when the war started in Nicaragua. By that time the Sisters were building the convent. I was already participating in youth and Bible study groups which nurtured an embedded, genuine love of Holy Church. During the summer vacation, without telling my mother or family anything, I asked the Sisters for more information. I started reading St. Francis Xavier and St. Therese’s attractive autobiographies. A spiritual bug bit me for exploring the saints’ many sacrifices, going to the missions and giving their lives for God. On my own without telling anybody, I started fasting and seeking discomforts such as sleeping on the floor with a rock under my head thinking that this would get me to holiness, you know, only from the things that I was reading! 

On a spiritual retreat for youth I then discerned seriously about entering the convent. I wanted to discover and work in missionary life that inspired me so much. So I politely told the Sisters that I wanted to go to see their missions. Without committing myself to enter Religious Life quite yet, I wanted to experience it first. In my mind, I knew what I wanted, but I wasn't sure enough about everything. The Sister said, ‘well, you know we have a mission on one of the mountains on the coast you would like, it would be a nice opportunity to go’. I shared my desire to study nursing and medicine under the Sisters’ teaching at their clinic. Civilians of the community were already preparing for the war: learning wound care, splints, and issuing necessary injections, which I did. I approached my mom about wanting to study medicine, or even studying in the nursing school. This conversation was enough to obtain her full support, not knowing what was growing in my heart in the desire to experience the Religious’ work in missions. “The Sisters can help me learn more things in nursing that I wanted to know ''. She agreed, “When are you going? I will support anything you need.” I departed my home for the first time with the Sister who was teaching me nursing skills at two o'clock in the morning on the boat. I had never traveled by boat in my life. That was also scary because I didn't know how to swim! One consolation that was beautifully coincidental to me was the fact that it was our Mother Foundress’ celebration of birth into Eternal Life, September 20th. 

 When we got to Bluefields, Sister Concepta picked us up from port. The trip took all day long. Unfortunately because of the war, traveling to the clinic through the mountains had to be accessed by helicopter. The helicopters were busy putting down people who were fighting in the military. So every time that we tried to go to the mountains, something detained us: the helicopters weren’t being manned, or the boats were retained, etc. So I actually never made it to the mountains and was just so disappointed. We had to go back to our convent in Bluefields. I decided to ask the Sisters then to enter and was put in the Aspirancy program (which we don’t really do anymore). I was 17 years old by that time. 

The war continued to throw wrenches in my plans. I was in Bluefields from September the 20th to December the 5th. At one point, a robber got into the house, which was a traumatizing experience for me and for another Aspirant. Because of this difficult episode, the Sisters sent us home not thinking we wanted to come back. 

I personally was in-between, not knowing what to do. It was difficult because I didn’t want to tell my mother about the robbery or what we went through. I carried this experience alone with God. On December 31st of a year or two later, as I went to Mass, all the traumas and desires in my heart were still awaiting peace. During the homily, I was receiving all the answers in my mind that I was making to the Lord. I heard the priest answering as if I was personally talking to him from the pew. So I thought, this is God. After Mass I prayed a long time, so imbued with communing with the Father without realizing how long I was there. Somebody had to inform me that they were closing the church. That day, I started writing my letter. The next day I told my parents I'm going to the convent and they were shocked that I chose to go back! 

I have been a Carmelite Sister of the Divine Heart of Jesus for over 40 years now traveling with Jesus through all the crosses and joys of Religious Life together.